Call me by my true name
ghost in the shelf: inner circle // Issue No. 47
I’ve been thinking about names and their power—how an arbitrary moniker given by our parents can shape our sense of self and identity.
In many senses, a name is sacred. In cultures around the world across history, one never shares their true name. To do so would give others complete power over them:
Ancient Egypt: every person and god had a secret name called the Ren.
Jewish Mysticism (Kabbalah): the Tetragrammaton & “Baal Shems” (Masters of the Name).
Scandinavia: the Nix (water spirits) who lose their power as soon as one speaks their name.
Indigenous North America: name-hiding which involves a public name for daily use and a sacred, hidden name.
No matter how unfamiliar or strange a name may seem to others, to the bearer, it’s all they’ve known.
A name, like a face, is something you have when you’re not alone.
I’ve collected a few names I find particularly powerful, which you’re welcome to consider rather than paying $10k for a baby naming consultant (look it up):
Apollo Ono1
Nefertiti Asanti
Māhealani Uchiyama
Antigone Kefala
Galileo Galilei
Jon Destin
Conor Cahill
Henry Roark :)
I recently finished an amusing novel Henry Henry loosely based on Shakespeare’s King Henry plays but contemporary and gay. I briefly entertained the idea of using Henry as a middle name as well so I could use the quip so nice they named him twice—like that lame New York City merch. But also as my monogram HRH, a nod to His Royal Highness.
Lest any reader think this would be beyond silly, let me share with you the story of Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. You may remember the child actor Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone but did you know he held a public vote to change his middle name from Carson, and in 2019 legally followed through? We love a public with humor, and I love a double-double as much as anyone.
What I love more is the star power of a mononym, like Zendaya. What else could explain how even her movie posters have just her first name?
Notable others include Beyoncé, Oprah, and this short dude who wanted it so bad that as emperor he demanded people refer to him only by first name; he wanted to be like royalty. Sound like anyone else these days?
Other more chill dudes remembered in mononym history from a combination of their notable works and cultural name practices at the time include Galileo, Dante, and Michelangelo.
In remembering names, I think of the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington D.C. designed by Maya Lin who won the design competition while still an undergrad. After winning, she consistently fought against the tyranny of committee along with detractors trying to ruin her design with idiosyncratic demands and compromise. Lin likened some requests to painting a mustache upon someone else’s portrait. One example gripe was how small the text of the names were. This was an intentional decision to force the viewer up close to the walls and see their mirrored reflection cast from the polished stone over the names. The haters who never studied memorials or design but still had opinions came around after it was built. Evermore gracious than myself, Lin reflected, I don’t think they realized that the design was experiential and cathartic, and, most importantly, designed not for me, but for them.
Another memorial for remembering the names and lives lost in the AIDS crisis is the AIDS Quilt, which has now been digitized so you can see each of the 50,000 panels with 110,000 names sewn in—from the comfort of your computer. I first saw it on a giant table-sized tablet at the World AIDS Day commemoration in the National Memorial Grove in Golden Gate Park. It’s incredibly powerful to see how all their loved ones wanted to remember them.
Remember, remember, the 5th of November… I have a tradition of watching V for Vendetta on Valentine’s Day instead of consuming anything marketed at me: cards, chocolate, roses, candle-lit dinners, etc. You could say it’s my favorite Valentine’s Day movie, just like Eyes Wide Shut is my ex’s favorite Christmas movie. I love the idea of reclaiming a made up Hallmark holiday and repurposing it. Please enjoy a favorite monologue from the film:
But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes and I know in 1605, he attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like?
We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an idea can still change the world. I’ve witnessed first hand the power of ideas, I’ve seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them...
But you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it... ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love... And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man... A man that made me remember the Fifth of November. A man that I will never forget.
Happy V Day.
xoxo,
I prefer this spelling, and again, another excellent example of assonance.